Old shit and where to see it - The Middle East: Country 1- EGYPT

You'd think with all this quarantine time from Covid that I would have plenty of time to get my photos up.  And you'd be right!  But, you have to factor in my overall laziness to the equation.  And that laziness is MIGHTY powerful (what are pants?)

Anyway!!!  I spent the entire month of February exploring parts of the Middle East - Egypt, Jordan, and Israel.

You may be thinking "OMG!  IS THAT SAFE!?!"

Well....maybe not NOW with the pandemic....but overall YES.  There wasn't a single moment I felt unsafe.  I highly recommend going!  Especially after this virus is over, places like Egypt are going to need a LOT of help getting back on their feet - so go visit!  It's a win-win!  Lovely vacation for you- Economy boost for them!  If you decide to go - talk to me!  I have THE BEST tour guide recommendation for you!!!

Let's take a moment to recognize the real accomplishment of this trip though - I was able to coordinate for 6 GROWN ASS ADULTS to all meet up half way around the world.  In this day and age of everyone I know having all the babies and none of the vacation time.....this is a miracle in and of itself.

Now...I took A LOT of photos.  So I'm breaking them up by country!
Up first: Egypt!

EGYPT

SAQQARA AND MEMPHIS:

Day 1:  What's jet lag?  We landed in Cairo nearly 24 hours after leaving Auckland and hit the ground running.  One does not fly around the world merely to sit in a crappy hotel room!

Our first stop was to see Saqqara (or Saccara) and the pyramid of Djoser.  This is THE OLDEST PYRAMID IN EGYPT!  Cool, huh?  You can see they used a step pyramid approach.  Those smooth sides come later in history

Saqqara is a vast burial ground for when the city of Memphis was the capitol of Egypt built around 2600B.C.

Around 16 kings and other various important people (think high priests and children of the pharoahs) built tombs in this area

This guy looks great for being out in the sun some 4500 years!

A false door built by all the tombs for the dead to travel back and forth through!

Some of the pyramids have been restored and are safe to enter!

Assuming you have the thigh and back where-with-all to crouch through the tiny entrance tunnels

Not to mention crouch and go up and down on some (can be severe) angles!

Go to Egypt - get a good butt!

The first of about a thousand heiroglyphs we would see in the coming week

All that crouching led us to some pretty neat burial chambers and sarcophagi

Follow this strange man into different burial chambers?  Seems like a good idea.  I mean.....the mummies curse probably isn't real......right?

That old capital city I mentioned: Memphis?  Yea - it's now an outdoor museum of all the artifacts they found in the area.  This is just A sphynx...not THE sphynx.

Making friends with tall, dark, and handsome men.  Very tall. 

The statues of pharaohs are often depicted with their left foot forward being as this is the same side of the body as the heart and therefore depicts them as pure of heart (were they?  Eh.  But he who has the money makes the rules)

Does my heart break a little that all these AMAZING artifacts are just left to the elements?  Yes.  But, Egypt lacks some of the infrastructure to put in all in proper museums...and you are literally TRIPPING over history everywhere you go that it would likely be impossible to house it all properly

Lid to a sarcophagus

One of MANY Ramses II statues.  He was really into himself.  The OG bro.  For what it's worth - he was arguably the most powerful pharaoh in ancient Egypt.  He reigned for over 60 years and had over 100 kids! (Guess what his hobby was....)

Those symbols on his wrist?  Just him name a bunch of times in case you weren't sure who you were looking at.  He also had it written about a dozen more times on the statue.   I mean, I get it...I have my name tattoed on my foot. But just once!  Geez Ramses....

This statue is about 10m long (30ft).  You can see me next to it in the upper right!

A statue of a king flanked by gods (do you KNOW who my friends are?!)

THE GREAT PYRAMIDS:

You know what's odd?  Cruising around a city and then seeing this!  Talk about apartments with a view.  

From the otherside - you can see smoggy Cairo in the distance

Giza Valley was incredible to see in person though

Probably half of my Egypt photos are from these!

Giza Valley isn't just the 3 main pyramids - you can see others out in the distance! And very nearby to these are smaller pyramids for the queens.  

Photos can't do these size justice!  And history states that these blocks used to be covered in white limestone so they would be shimmering in the desert sun!

FRIENDS!  (4/6.....  the other 2 joined us in Jordan)

Enough photos from the valley yet?  I told you - OBSESSED.

See that middle one?  The one that's bigger than the rest?  That's the largest one in Egypt and is THE Great Pyramid.  Also called the Pyramid of Khufu.  WE WENT INSIDE!!! 

Excited to go grave hunting!!!

And kneel so much that your bum bum and back hurt

A very steep and narrow route in (And Peter KILLING the Indiana Jones fantasy look with that hat!)

Crouch crouch crouch crouch. Try to narrowly pass people. Crouch crouch crouch.

Once upon a time this big sarcophagus would have housed our boy Khufu.  And the big square room it was in would be SMOTHERED in gold and treasure.  But.....grave robbers. And history.  

So now....just an empty box in an empty room.  But my imagination can fill in the rest.

Did I mention the pyramids are BIG? 

LOOK AT THESE BLOCKS!

THE Sphynx!!!  How cool is this guy?!

Not pictured:  what the sphynx is facing - a Pizza Hut.  It's a modern world, ya'll

Pucker up

Camels!

(Still obsessed)

CAIRO MUSEUM:

I was a bit worried this museum was gonna be a bit stink.  They're building a new one beside the Pyramids and they have already moved a lot over... I didn't anticipate being wowed.

Spoiler alert: I was wrong.  A lot of amazing stuff still remained!

Crates and scaffolding were around as they prepped the movement of the artifacts

The only replica of anything in the Cairo museum is of the Rosetta Stone.  Although originating from Memphis, Egypt...it's on display at the British Royal Museum (taken there by soldiers who captured it in the 1800s)... Maybe one day it will return 'home'

Artifacts abound!

 

I knew some girls from middle school who used to line their eyes like this...

Rare wooden statue

Pyramid topper!

This a lady Pharaoh, Hapshepsut!  #bossbabe

We visited her temple at the end of our Egypt adventure

Anubis - the Egyptian god of the dead. Represented by a jackal...as these were the animals often seen congregating around carcasses. (Yum yum!)

Back in 1922, THE COOLEST archaeological find in recent history happened - funded and credited to Howard Carter.  

King Tut's Tomb!

Miraculously unfound and unraided for THOUSANDS of years (despite tombs RIGHT NEXT TO IT being discovered)

Now - King Tutankhamen wasn't a particularly interesting ruler....but, hes famous now just cause we have his stuff!

Now - Egyptians spent more time planning for their death than they did enjoying life.  I guess you are going to spend more time dead than alive overall.... 

So as soon as you became pharaoh - you started building your tomb and all the treasure that would go in it!

Including games you'd want to play while dead.  Actually, throw in 5 versions of the same game.  You can never be too sure.

And a golden chair that every dead person needs.

Golden storage boxes for all your dead person things

*not my photo*

The best King Tut swag is kept in a NO PHOTO room.  His jewelry mostly and THE famed and above pictured DEATH MASK.  I was so amazed how new this thing looked despite being soooo old.  And also how tiny.  I wasn't sure it'd fit my head.  But, maybe ass a dehydrated mummy it would.

The 2nd coolest thing to see at the museum was the ROYAL MUMMY ROOMS.  Everyone wanted to steal the mummies treasure, but not actually the mummies, so these guys have stuck around.  

*also a NO PHOTO room....so these aren't mine*

Look at those skinny little noodle arms!

Here he is folks!  One of THE most influential world leaders in history - RAMESES II

He looks a bit like bad beef jerky.  But he used to be a real big deal.  (Those cheekbones tho!)

Fun Fact: The mummy of Ramses II had to travel to Paris for restoration.  He was issued a passport!  So...next time you're too hard on how terrible your photo looks.....just think of this guy.

More mummies

More death masks - this is a his and hers couple set!  How romantic

Finally ready to depart Cairo - we boarded a cute overnight train to head to Aswan!

Look at our tiny cabin!

The halls were narrow - but we partied anyway

PHILAE TEMPLE:

On a boat to visit Philae!

Our first temple visit in Aswan - a beautiful Southern Egypt city

Built on a small island in the Nile! But it's no longer on it's original island... cause that one sunk. So it got saved and moved to a neighboring one.

The temple was built to honor the gods Isis + Osirus, and their son Horus

Featuring Greco-roman arcitecture - it felt like we were visiting a Greek isle!

Here, we first saw a lot of the carvings damaged and 'scratched out'.  Which the introduction of Christianity, a lot of religious vigilantes took it upon themselves to remove the depictions of false gods

But....they only half assed the defacement.  Many carvings survived

Coptic Christian graffiti

More ancient graffiti

Our Philae squad

Another island in the Nile in Aswan is Elephantine Island, which is home to many Nubians in the area (Google: an ethno-linguistic group of people who are indigenous to the region which is not present day Northern Sudan and southern Egypt) Part of our trip included this very special local experience where we were invited into Mohammed's home for THE BEST MEAL of the trip

I was too busy eating all the things that there are no food photos. 

What a spectacular place to have a home and see the desert stars!

Narrow alleyways of Elephantine at night

ABU SIMBEL:

See how tired I look?  That's cause I had to get up at 4am to join a bus caravan driving 4 hours to Abu Simbel which is VERY close to the Sudanese border (hence...why the police regulate you have to travel in a caravan).  But I got to see the sunrise over the desert!

We finally made it!

Abu Simbel is a temple complex of 2 temples built by Ramses II basically to talk about how BALLER he was.

See these 4 dudes?  They're ALL Ramses II.  ALL OF THEM

And inside?

More Ramses'

This guy? RAMSES II

Third guy from the left?  RAMSES! Just hanging with his god friends

Biggest guy in the carving?  Ramses II

Any guesses?  RAMSES II!

I mean....the temple was still pretty neat

And I got this cute pic of me

BUT DON'T FORGET ABOUT RAMSES (Pictured here. With me)

The smaller temple next door was built to honor his favorite wife, Nefertari and the goddess of fertility.

You might be thinking, "How sweet!  He built a temple for his babe!"   But keep in mind, in HER temple here....4 of those 6 statues are RAMSES II!  haha

Oh Ramses, my bro....  Definitely worth the early wake up call and the HOURS driving to see your manifesto of love to yourself though

Look!  A Mirage!

When an Egyptian cop stops you to ask for a photo. You don't say no.  He has a selfie of just me and him on his phone somewhere out there in the world too. 

Back to Aswan to enjoy the sun set over the Nile

A photo op of some of the chaotic night markets!  You gotta have a backbone to walk through those with the haggling and hassling!

One of our relaxing vacation days included a Nile cruise northbound on one of these boats! A Felucca.  A small wooden wind powered cutie

So now enjoy these cute boat pictures

Lounging away!

FASHUN.

We even slept overnight on this boat!  Which turned out to be quite chilly....

But in a fun way! (though I'm not sure any of us would sign up to do it again unless we were guaranteed warmer weather)

KOM OMBO:

Our little boat landed us towards our next destination: Kom Ombo Temple.

Unique because it's split directly in 2!  The southern half honors the crocodile god Sobek. The northern, for the falcon headed god, Horus

See the 2nd from the left?  Sobek!

Way back in the day, they tended to live crocodiles living here to honor Sobek

Although Sobek wasn't a nice god, they thought taking care of his likeness would help apease him

Sobek, again!

Attacthed to the temple is a whole museum of mummified crocs!

These ones have little rock eyes!

 

After Kom Ombo - we headed to our last city stop - Luxor

KARNAK TEMPLE:

We first visited Karnak temple complex.  Which half a day WAS NOT ENOUGH

This is a MASSIVE MASSIVE MASSIVE temple complex that reigning pharaohs kept building within for the better part of 2000 years

Approximately 30 Pharaohs contributed, so there is a lot of various complexity and diversity seen in the construction

And Pylons.  PYLONS everywhere

Artsy Tomb Raider shot

Obelisk

FRIENDS!!! AND PYLONS!!!!

Look how colorful these hieroglyphs are!!!

There is a 3km alleyway of Sphynx that connects the Karnak temple with the Luxor temple below.  Though many of the Sphynx are gone now or in rough condition as there were buried and built upon for many years

Luxor Temple

VALLEY OF THE KINGS:

Entering the Valley of the Kings - a region of Luxor where it was THE place to carve your tomb into mountainside for about 500 years.  At least 63 tombs have been discovered and excavations are still occuring today!

Any given day, only certain tombs are open to the public to limit traffic and continue preservation. Here are some of the highlights!

I honestly can't recall who's tomb is whose.... I'm sure if I sat down and concentrated I could....but Oh well!  The following are from: Ramses IV, Ramses IX, Mereptah, and Ramses VI.

I'll just leave you to scroll and enjoy the colors. THE COLORS! Who knew?!  I wish I could find a hair dye that lasted as long as these hieroglyph dyes last....

 TEMPLE OF HAPSHEPSUT:

Remember that lady pharaoh bust from the Cairo museum?  Here's her temple! We made it!

Hapshepsut's temple! (It's a mouthful.  Just say hot chicken soup. Close enough)

Did she essentially steal the throne from a 2 year old baby? Yes.

Did she carve her likeness more like a man to conceal herself? Yes.

Was she still a lady boss? HELL YES. #21yearswithpower!

This is essentially ALL reconstructed.  Once that baby she stole the thrown from came to his senses and ousted her (When he was old enough) he destroyed all her things in attempts to erase her.  Jokes on him.  WE REMEMBER

Parts of her temple honored the fertility god Hathur, seen here

Girl power.

            

Biggest disappointment in Egypt? It was actually really cold in February!  All my cute desert-chic outfits I packed were just covered by that damn puffer jacket!  But....look at us.  I guess we can only get so cute anyway.

Stay tuned for Jordan!